Welcome dear readers to a blog on a shopping marketplace. Though not every blog will be written to push product or to make it look flashy for the Pinterest crowd. I am sure there will be some of that here but we are also going to bring you interesting articles and blogs that you can just read and hopefully enjoy.
I struggled with this idea but in the end I was going to think about maintaining a blog here just for my own enjoyment and as an outlet for my writing. I would never presume to have a large audience or platform to be able to share my writings and in one sense I would never want to. I feel like maybe this is therapy. Like the therapy where if your afraid of the dark you immerse yourself in the dark. Will it work? Maybe.
I have spent the majority of my life trying to push the idea that I am really smart or that "Once I make movies they will be..." ideals on myself. Delusional in a sense and time to make a change. I have always hated what I produced after I produced it and it makes me cringe to watch the films I have made or writing I have penned. I seldom edit because in my mind as they enter the page is the most enjoyable and when I feel the most alive and joyous. Rereading my works or re-watching them I am disgusted. I don't know what that means or if their is a cure. I am sure I am not the only one. Can I overcome this, I have started making YouTube's as well and I have even edited them and re-watched them a few times before I post. I can honestly say I am enjoying myself. I am being creative and I am loving it, to where I think about it daily and can't wait to make more.
Here comes the issue, a part of me doesn't care if anyone sees them or I become YouTube famous. That part of me is happy and excited. Then the evil part of me rears it's head and says "why are you not famous yet. Why is no one watching". The devil never answers it only asks the question and leaves you to fill in the blank with the darkest possible blank you can. It doesn't matter what the devil says I am going to keep making things, being creative, and who cares if not one person in the world watches them. They are for me.
I should always end these hopeful. Hmm... I was depressed for a long time and the world has started to reopen itself to me and I am starting to finally see the bright spots again. I will continue and work out these creative muscles then maybe I can enjoy my work in the future. I am sure I will.